contrib: ncurses: clean make calls and build out of tree

We should not RECONF otherwise AC_DEFINE doesn't define unset flags which are used as variables by ncurses.

We can remove the autotools overriding variables and the forced -j1.

We still need to keep the dirty -j1, it fails to build otherwise.

Draft while debugging the macOS "system" ncursesw location. Which ends up not building our own.